I am resuscitating this corpse of a blog. Or, rather, an online diary by this point as I last updated it in July of last year!
I stopped posting as I was boring myself. Same old struggles, same old lack of progress, same old heartbreak. But now I have a reason to document the next year or so (I hope).
My specialist has been talking for a few years now about whether I’d be prepared to consider bariatric surgery and I’ve always said no. Until May this year when I said I would (consider it). I then went away and did quite a bit of research.
I was initially attracted to the bypass option – purely and simply because you lose the most weight that way (something like 78-80% of excess weight lost). I talked to P about it whilst we were off on holiday last week (Qatar – tried using my Arabic but everyone in a service job was from other countries (mainly the Philippines)). He was concerned about the irreversibility of it. I took his point.
So I started looking at the band. It’s less invasive and I’d be back at work sooner. Typically it says around 50% of excess weight is lost. Tbh, whilst I’d like to lose a lot more, as the advert says, every little helps. Plus, although it may sound trivial, I think you’re not supposed to drink with or after eating with the bypass - I didn’t take my wine exams to never drink again. I can give it up for a period of time but not forever.
But it all depends – of course – on what the surgeon says. I have two appointments in April. One with the nurse (and I think – although it’s not clear) that that’s a series of appointments over the whole day. Then a couple of weeks later with the surgeon. There is a lot of form filling to be done before then – it is really depressing me. It’s forcing me to remember all the lows (in mood rather than scales – although there’s certainly an inverse relationship there) – I’m struggling to keep myself above the sucking waters of depression as it is, this is pulling me down further.
I intend to tell no-one about this (if it does happen): just my husband and you dear (probably given up) Reader. I do think there’s a concept of ‘cheating’ with it by people who haven’t given it much thought. I read an excellent blog of a lady who went through this: she repeated what her clinical team had told her, which also chimed with her experience, that the band helps you by approximately 30% and the remaining 70% has to come from you. It seems that you have an initial big loss (akin to Lighterlife you lose approximately a stone a month for the first three months) and then it’s 1-2lbs a week. You see, that would be fine for me – working to lose maybe half a stone a month (especially after the bigger loss). What has felled me in the past is when the losses just stop, despite the effort I put in. Then it turns into a vicious circle. When I’m getting results, I find it much easier to stick to. I know that’s twisted. If I were more steely I would be all the more determined. I fear I am not a woman of substance. Although of course I am a substantial woman.
